I’ve Inherited Money. Now What?

There’s a myth that inheriting wealth is supposed to make everything easier. And maybe that’s what people around you think—based on movies and what “coming into a lot of money” looks like. But if you’ve received an inheritance, you know the truth: it’s complicated.

One moment you’re grieving the loss of someone you love, and the next, you’re dealing with banks, lawyers, planners, accountants, and decisions about money you may not feel ready to handle. And as if the grief isn’t enough, here comes the shame. The guilt. The fear that you’re not doing it “right.” The uncomfortable conversations—or worse, the silence—because you’re afraid people won’t understand.

If that’s where you are, I want you to hear this: you’re not alone. You’re REALLY not alone. Most people you know will likely inherit something in their lifetime. So we need to start talking about it in a real, honest way—so we can move forward with a lot less shame and a lot more empowerment.

You Didn’t Do Anything Wrong. And You Don’t Owe Anyone an Explanation.

You didn’t cheat or steal to receive this money. You inherited it because someone in your family planned, saved, or worked hard to create something they wanted you to have. Period. Or maybe you inherited money because someone left this world too soon.

This is a nuanced, emotional conversation, so if the exact circumstances don’t fit your lived experience, just know the goal of this blog is to help you feel connected to this money—not through shame, guilt, avoidance, or fear.

Our culture loves to sell us the idea that unless wealth is “earned” in a socially acceptable way, it doesn’t count. Or that if you’re not “self-made,” you didn’t earn it. That’s bullshit on so many fronts. (Read the Myth of the self made American Billioniare & Reality on Inherited Wealth)

Most generational wealth is lost within three generations—because managing and maintaining wealth is a skill many do not possess. Also, wealth isn’t just passed down through money. It’s passed through the schools we went to, the sphere of influence we were surrounded by, and the activities our parents prioritized for us.

The self-made American dream? A myth. This country was founded on the backs of inherited wealth.

You Can Feel ALL the Emotions at the Same Time.

Inheritance often comes on the heels of deep loss. It could also come unexpectedly from someone you weren’t close with—or even someone you didn’t have a great relationship with. That means you may be holding grief, gratitude, anger, confusion, and relief all at once.

That doesn’t make you ungrateful. It makes you human.

Grief and gratitude are not opposites. They show up together more often than people admit. And they don’t cancel each other out. You’re allowed to mourn. You’re allowed to be thankful. You’re allowed to feel everything in between.

If You Feel Like You’ve Lost Yourself, You’re Not Crazy.

We see this with our clients all the time. The money shows up, and suddenly the ground beneath them shifts. People have opinions. Friends make comments. You find yourself wondering:

Who am I now?
Do they see me—or just the money?
Am I allowed to enjoy this?
Who can I talk to about this?
Why do I feel weird complaining that I feel guilty about this windfall?
Who can I trust to give me advice?
Why do I feel so stupid when I talk to my new financial team?

An inheritance can trigger an identity crisis because it changes your options. And options can be overwhelming.

But here’s what we want you to remember: wealth doesn’t change your worth. You still get to decide who you are. You still get to choose your values. You’re in control of how you move forward.

You Don’t Have to Get It Perfect.

A lot of people I coach are paralyzed by the fear of “messing it up.” They put massive pressure on themselves to make every decision perfect—because they don’t want to “waste” the opportunity or “disrespect” the person who left it to them.

But there is no perfect plan. There is no gold star for doing everything right. What matters is that you make decisions aligned with your values. That you move forward with intention, not fear.

You are allowed to take care of yourself. You are allowed to enjoy some of it. And yes, you are allowed to make mistakes along the way.

Feeling Isolated? You’re Not Alone.

It’s easy to feel like you’re the only one navigating this—especially when people around you either don’t know what to say or assume your life is suddenly easier.

Many of our clients have told us they’ve pulled away from friendships or felt like they couldn’t talk about what they were going through.

If that’s you, I want you to know: you don’t have to carry this alone.

If you don’t feel comfortable working on your inheritance with the team you inherited—like your financial planner, accountant, or lawyer—then you probably need to consider two possibilities:

1. You might be missing key information that would help you feel like the driver of the conversation.
   
2. You might not have the right team.

These are two very important pieces of information you need as you navigate this new reality. If you don’t have the financial confidence to talk about your inheritance—or you don’t like your team—it will stunt you from being able to use this money. It will always feel like a burden, not a gift.

The Shame Isn’t Yours to Carry.

Much of the shame that comes with inheriting wealth has nothing to do with you—and everything to do with other people’s projections.

“Must be nice.”
“I wish I had your problems.”
“You don’t know what real struggle is.”

Sound familiar?

Here’s what I want you to know: you are allowed to have a complicated relationship with your money. You are allowed to take time to figure it out. You can make decisions based on your values and what’s right for your life—not what other people think you should do.

You can choose to grow it, share it, spend it, or invest it—without apology.

You Are Allowed to Build a Legacy That Feels Good to You.

You didn’t ask for the shame. But you can choose to release it. And you can choose to write a new story about what this inheritance means for you and your family.

You’re not just managing money. You’re healing generational patterns. You’re building a legacy with intention. And that, my friend, is the most radical form of $elf-care there is.

What We Do

If you’re wondering what we do: we help people navigate a lot of difficult conversations around wealth and become the driver of those conversations.

We help you figure out if your financial planner, accountant, or lawyer is the best fit for your goals—or if there’s a language barrier that’s preventing them from truly helping you.

We make sure your day-to-day living is just as successful as your long-term planning. And we help you build the confidence you need to manage wealth.

You become the head of the table.

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